They say words can wound more deeply than actions. Yet, no one ever warned me that unsaid words could pierce the soul with such silent intensity. In a world filled with noise and chaos, we often forget the power of silence. There are moments when words fall short, when emotions run deeper than language can express. Sometimes, the deepest emotions struggle to find the perfect words. In these cases, actions speak louder than words.
The proverb “Bakit pa sasabihin kung halata naman?” (Why say it if it’s obvious?) captures a timeless truth about human nature. Sometimes, our feelings reside in our eyes, our smiles, and our gestures. Expressing love, care, or appreciation doesn’t always require spoken words. People who truly care will feel our emotions even if left unsaid.
There are words that have been burning on my lips, aching to be spoken, but I’m not courageous enough to do so. That is why I remain silent. But that doesn’t mean I don’t say anything at all. It’s more like a different kind of talking, a way of showing you instead of telling. I let my actions become the verses that my voice cannot sing.
I hope my good mornings brought you a smile, lighting up your face with the same warmth as the sun’s tender kiss at dawn. Each morning greeting was a gentle reminder that you were in my thoughts from the moment I awoke. I hope my every “how was your day?” wrapped you in the same cocoon of comfort you’ve always given me, making you feel cherished and understood. Each inquiry was an earnest attempt to bridge the distance and be present in your everyday life. I hope I was able to make you feel at home every time you messaged me that you just got home, with my words being a soft landing, a welcoming embrace that told you, no matter where you were, you were never alone. I hope you realized how much you matter every time I reminded you to take care, as these reminders were heartfelt affirmations of your significance in my world. I hope my silly jokes brought laughter to your lips and lightness to your heart during those times you felt down, each joke a small offering to bring a glimmer of happiness into your day. You mean so much to me, and I hope you felt that through every word and gesture.
Love’s a funny thing. It swells in your chest, a boundless ocean of emotion, yet cramming it into a neat little package of words can feel inadequate. We say “I love you” so often, it risks becoming a casual phrase, tossed around like a pebble. It’s pretty unfair how other people can easily express what they really want, but it would take me so much courage to ask you — “What are we? Are we just friends or are we more than that?”
I constantly question why I can’t bring myself to ask you this. Perhaps it’s because I’m afraid — afraid that your answer might not align with my hopes. Or maybe I fear that I am just another person to you, and that everything between us is merely casual. Maybe your good mornings, take care, and welcome home are simply part of your nature.
You are an enigma I cannot decipher. At times, you make me feel special, only to later dismiss it by saying that’s just how you are with everyone. Am I merely a pawn in your intricate game? Yet, if only the world could witness how we exchanged messages in the middle of the night and all those little updates in the middle of our busy lives, I bet no one would believe that I am just a casual friend to you.
You have scattered a myriad of delicate hints like petals on the breeze, and I, with my heart trembling, have responded with vague, evasive answers, feigning a kind of ignorance to stave off the weight of assumptions. How could I, an unremarkable soul, ever dream that someone as extraordinary as you might fall head over heels for me? It would be akin to a naïve lamb believing that a formidable lion, with all its grandeur and strength, is in pursuit out of love rather than hunger.
I persist in denying to the world that we are anything beyond mere friends, even though those around me can see the radiant truth that lies beyond the surface of our connection. I keep on denying because I thought it would place you in an uncomfortable position. Oh, if you only knew how desperately I yearn for the day when I could openly embrace you as mine, when I could shed the veil of pretense and declare my feelings for you without reservation. My soul aches for that moment, for the chance to express the depth of my affection and to hold you close as something more than a cherished friend.
Those around me have begun to notice the subtle transformations in my heart. They observe the radiant joy that dances across my face whenever your messages appear, as if the mere sight of your name on my screen brings a burst of sunlight into my day. They see how my eyes light up with anticipation at every notification, my heart quickening at the hope that it is your words that have come to grace me once more.
They witness the way I hold onto each precious detail of our conversations, how I cherish the way you understand the intricate tapestry of my life — the little things that others might overlook but that you grasp with such tenderness. They see how you have become a cherished presence, a beacon of warmth and wonder in my world, and they recognize the depth of the bond we share.
They see the way I carry your words like delicate treasures, the way my thoughts often drift to the moments we share, and how your presence has woven itself into the very fabric of my existence. It’s as if they can see the invisible thread that binds us together, a thread that glistens with the beauty of something profoundly special and undeniably significant.
We lived in that gray area, suspended between the comfort of friendship and the thrill of something more, forever teetering on the edge but never taking the leap. It was a dance of unspoken words and subtle gestures, where each move was carefully measured, always stopping just short of crossing the line.
You were my safe harbor in the stormy seas of life, the one person who understood me without needing explanations. Every message, every shared silence, every laugh felt like a thread binding us closer together, yet I was always afraid that pulling too hard might unravel everything. So, I kept my distance, savoring the bittersweet pleasure of what we had, all the while yearning for what we might become.
But the heart is a stubborn thing, and it doesn’t easily abide by the constraints we try to place upon it. Every time I saw you, my resolve weakened. Every shared glance was a silent plea, every touch a confession I couldn’t bring myself to voice. I would lie awake at night, replaying our conversations, analyzing every nuance for hidden meanings, every word for a hint of mutual longing.
Sometimes I would catch myself dreaming of a different reality, one where I had the courage to tell you how I felt. In this imagined world, your eyes would light up with the same realization, and we would laugh at how blind we had been to each other’s feelings. We would finally bridge that gap, crossing over from friends to something infinitely more beautiful. In that dream, we were free, and love was no longer a secret but a shared truth.
Yet morning would come, and the dream would fade, leaving behind the familiar ache of what might have been. I would see you again, and the dance would continue, each step a delicate balance of what I felt and what I dared to reveal. I told myself that this was enough, that your presence in my life, in whatever capacity, was better than risking everything and losing you entirely.
We never admit anything, but deep inside we know that we are something. Something between friends and lovers, but we never make it through. I could have been yours and you could have been mine, if only one of us said something.
But that’s exactly the problem,
We never said anything.
“I almost had you, didn’t I?”
ms.y
